Monthly Archives: September 2025

A purse, pocketbook, bag, carryall, clutch, and tote. These are all terms for a woman’s handbag, and the topic of the fourth instalment of Life Lessons from My Favourite Things. I have a sizable collection of handbags but I want to tell you about what I learned about myself from one special handbag, my Micheal Kors tote bag.

Gifted to me as a surprise by my dear friend, Wendy, this bag is amazing and beautiful. When I travel, I can put everything I would normally carry, and some – my wallet, sunglasses, documents, essentials like lip balm, and things I would hate to lose like my retainers, currency, and keys.

Recently, I was going through my handbag collection, and I realized that my MK bag was totally underutilized. After only a few uses, I had put back into its white dust bag and light brown box. I checked it out to see that it was still in almost pristine condition, and reflected on why this bag which was so important to me still sat protected in my closet.

Why did I put it on a high shelf while my other handbags were on readily accessible shelves?

When I think back, I can remember so clearly that day in December 2022 saying to myself, “this is a pleasant surprise when I collected a large package from an Amazon delivery driver. I wonder what prompted this.” I didn’t have to wait long because Wendy called for the second time to enquire whether I had gotten the package she sent me. You see, she had been tracking it to ensure it was delivered safely to me.

It was very important to her that I got this special gift that she was planning to give me for some time. She shared that our friendship meant so much to her over the years and how I had proven to be a kind, thoughtful, and cherished friend. She also advised that I get a dust bag for the handbag when I told her it came without one.

I remember feeling a tingle in my body and a few goose pimples on my arms as she spoke from her heart. Truly, I knew that Wendy loved me as a friend. Yet, I didn’t think that I was deserving of her largesse. She was just someone with a modest income, and in no sense rich. Yet, she had expended some of her hard-earned money to show kindness to me and to say ’thank you for being a friend’, and I felt underserving of it.

I skimmed the outside and inside of the bag and admired the spacious cavity. Immediately, I saw the magnetic closure which was supported by a metal clasp to keep things safe. The bag could also be configured to a smaller size. I thought, she really had thought about getting me a bag that was not only stylish but secure. Why me, though?

You see, I was never someone who got many dedicated gifts like this one. For the past three years or so, a group of girlfriends had been pooling funds to get each other a personal item for birthdays, and at Christmas, something for our homes. Yet, this gift struck a chord with me. Someone thought I was deserving of something special but I didn’t think so.

As I started peeling back the layers of my complex personality, I realized that I was not good at letting others love me. I was good at sharing my time, talents, and effort with others but I didn’t think I was worth being reciprocated in kind for anything. If someone gave me something, I always felt they would want something in return.  Quite honestly by the end of my reflection time, it wasn’t even about the bag anymore. It was about acknowledging to myself that I was, in fact, ‘worth it’.

Lesson learned…by putting myself out there and doing things that I normally didn’t shy away from (mostly thoughtful, kind deeds for others), someone had taken notice and ultimately took the time to say ‘Thank you. You mean a lot to me’.  I treasured this gesture so much that I was using the bag sparingly so that the special memory about Wendy’s action would last longer.  It was important to me to prolong my MK bag’s lifespan for as long as possible.

While this is certainly not the most expensive bag I will ever own, it certainly taught me a huge and significant lesson about self-worth. I am a complete and worthy individual who deserves to be treated with the same care and attention I give to belongings like my MK handbag. Moreover, my worth isn’t determined by an item’s quality or price tag, but by my own conscious choice to value myself.

I’ve since decided to use my MK handbag more often so it won’t get dry-rotted; and every time I fish it out of its box and dust bag, I remind myself that others believe in me and love me just the way I am. I just need to believe and accept that I’m worth being fussed about at times. Showing love and appreciation isn’t for everyone else, it’s also for me.

So, have you ever thought, “this is too much for me, but just right for someone else?” I think too often as women we don’t always recognize our own value. If you’ve ever felt this way too, I hope this story provides a bit of encouragement to let you know that that you add to the lives of others will at times come back to you… as it should

God, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (Psalm 139:14, New International Version).

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