A personal experience I just had sparked this blog. A fellow leader and I had a disagreement about the next steps a committee should take as part of an important process. Instead of taking a position, the leader laid the blame squarely at my door via email notification to the committee. Not only was it communicated that there was in fact a disagreement, but it was also noted that the process would be delayed so that my position would hold. I never asked for this to be done and email communication to everyone would undoubtedly give the impression that I was seeking to control the process.

Have you ever wondered why some individuals blame others for mistakes or some other form of misfortune? I have, and I think it happens because blaming others is a type of defense mechanism – an unconscious process that protects the person shifting the blame from experiencing unpleasant feelings like guilt or shame. In most situations, blaming is a cognitive distortion where an individual assigns guilt or responsibility for how we feel about an unfortunate situation to someone else. The distortion is usually part of a person’s defense mechanism, which involves denying their own inadequacies, and seeing them in others, instead, and calling others out publicly.

When I think about the Bible’s account of fall of humankind recorded in Genesis Chapter 3, I see something similar. Eve is deceived by the serpent and her husband Adam follows her example and distrusts God. When God comes looking for them both, Adam blames the woman for their lost condition, and his wife in turn, blames the serpent who we know was the Devil in disguise. In this case, both people erred but no one was willing to take personal responsibility for their actions. Adam shifted the blame to Eve and she did the same to the serpent.

While blaming may make one person feel better about themselves, it usually places the responsibility for a negative outcome squarely on the shoulders of someone else. “It’s not my fault; it’s yours.” This can happen for several reasons: one person is controlling and that leads them to find fault in others; narcissism where the blame-sharer simply refuses to look for faults or inadequacies in themselves. A third reason is miscommunication.

With regard to my experience given above, I believe it was a way of saving face. Instead of admitting to miscommunication, a misreading or incorrect understanding of the process, it was easier to blame someone else – me. Another reason may be a fragile sense of self-worth; a feeling that admitting a mistake or accepting responsibility for something negative means they are flawed.

The question is “How should I deal with the blame-sharer in this instance?” After getting over the initial shock of the blame-shifter’s actions, I am pondering my next move. Maybe, I will just let this one slide and look for an opportunity later on to chat about it.

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Submission in marriage has been an age-old concept, deeply rooted in the counsel the Apostle Paul gave to couples in Ephesians Chapter 5, verses 22 to 24.

The New International Version renders the passage this way:

Ephesians 5:22–24 — The New International Version (NIV) 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

According to Paul, the wife is supposed to submit to her own husband, which in many cases is a life of oppression and subjugation for many women. With so many patriarchal cultures and societies, many husbands latch on to the submission requirement to ensure male dominance in marriage; control of women, and at times, wanting total obedience as a necessity in matters of sex and romance.

Women, on the other hand, appear to be in two camps. One group points to submission as a means of following the spiritual lead of their husbands, deferring to his opinions and views about financial matters, discipline of their children, and general decision-making within the marriage.

A second group, rebuffs the submission rhetoric. They do not buy into wifely submission solely, claiming that submission should be mutual: husband to wife and wife to husband, depending on the matter at hand. I identify more with the second group, with full recognition that husbands and wives have different and often contrasting perspectives on Biblical submission.

As such, I think we should uncover a workable definition for Biblical submission in marriage. What did Paul mean when he gave His counsel? Whose duty is it to submit: wives only? Both wives and husbands? What does submission look like in 21^st century Christian marriages?

Let’s take a look at these questions in turn.

What is submission?

As a Christian woman who will complete three and a half decades of marriage later in July, I would define submission in a marriage as selfless, non-competitive service, combined with mutual accountability, and respect for one’s spouse. This is a type of Holy Spirit-led submission, and does not in anyway mean that a wife loses her voice in the marriage, becomes a ‘slave’ whose duty is to wait hand and foot on her husband, or who totally give up her will to her husband as a superior, obeying his every word. If this is your experience, what you have does not qualify as a loving marriage but an authoritarian parent-child relationship. Yikes!

What did Paul mean when he gave His counsel? Whose duty is it to submit?

Looking closely at the passage above, we notice that Paul compares the wife’s submission to her husband to her submission to Christ, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. How do we submit to Christ: from a place of force and dominance or from a place of choice? Clearly, the latter. Christ does not trade in the business of force, only willingness, and free will. This tells me that any authoritarian view of submission is neither biblical nor Christlike.

Why? Because Jesus willingly submitted Himself to a cruel death for us at an infinite cost to himself and out of intense love for us. He also gifts us with a down payment of His Holy Spirit who dwells within us. Motivated by God’s love and empowered by the Holy Spirit, we are able to submit to and serve each other. So, husbands who love their wives the way Christ loved the Church, that is more than their own life are more likely to experience submission from their wives.

Every marriage, especially a Christian marriage, should be built on love, and lots of it. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul tells us that “love is patient, kind and does not envy, nor boast. and is not proud, rude or self-seeking.” In the context of a loving relationship, it would not be very difficult to submit using our working definition above.

One crucial principle of Bible study we should remember is taking one Bible verse and creating doctrine and practice out of it. I believe in “here a little, there a little” as I study God’s word. If we use this approach, we would see that Paul not only counsels the Ephesian wives to submit to their own husbands because he is the head of the wife, but he also requires believers to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21), and he counsels husbands to love their wives as their own bodies. Wow!

This suggests some type of flexibility on the part of loving husbands and wives as they interact with each other in their marriage, and indicates that “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” must also be accompanied with “selfless love, allowing for choice, and respect.

If we go back to Genesis, we would see that God intended that there should be equality in marriage as He gave both Adam and Eve equal responsibility to dress the garden of Eden and keep it, and to multiply and replenish the earth.” Both husband and wife were made in the image of God, and any actions that would mar God’s image in one’s spouse is a poor reflection of God’s character, and has no place in our homes.

Moreover, if submission were actually about a woman losing her volition in matters of sex and romance, Paul wouldn’t state in 1 Corinthians 7:4 that a wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and according to some Bible versions like the Message translation, we see that women have authority over their husband’s bodies in the same way that men have authority over their wife’s body which indicates a sense of mutuality or equalizing which was God’s original plan for married couples.

So, instead of insisting that the change in marital relationships that occurred after sin should hold, wouldn’t it be better if we all uphold the view that Jesus came to restore all things, including God’s original purpose for marriage, and ask God for His power to live this out in our homes? Taking Paul’ marital counsel in its entirety, it is clear that for Christian husbands and vives, Biblical submission in marriage is mutual and not sex-based.

What does submission look like today?

In the 21^st century, the misunderstanding about this Bible passage is palpable. Men continue to hold to the view that husbands are not required to submit, only wives because they are “the head of the wife”. However, the Son of Man came to serve not to be served, and we are all called to be Christ-like and to servant-leaders, to esteem others better than ourselves. The service Christ gave to humanity was given even when we least merited that sacrifice.” Husbands are called to love their wives in this manner.

So, I say, go forth and love on each other; reverence each other as unto Christ, and submission will naturally flow your way.  Remember, however, that submission is a mark of the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives as wives and husbands. Only Through the power of the Holy Spirit will we be able to put the needs of our spouses ahead of our own, imitate Christ’s service in our homes, and discover the joy God intended would accompany submission in marriage.

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The month of February, just concluded was Black History month. This year’s celebrations saw many companies continue their quest for diversity, equity and inclusion with a degree of urgency not seen before the death of George Floyd. What is it? How to do it in a sustainable manner? What is the return on investment? Who benefits? 

 A quick check of the literature reveals that this trending topic is largely being defined and considered through a secular lens. In this blog, I explore more closely the concept of inclusivity through a Biblical lens.                                  

Inclusivity is commonly defined as the practice or policy of providing equal access to opportunities and resources for people who might otherwise be excluded or marginalized, such as those having physical or intellectual disabilities or belonging to other minority groups.[1]

Is there a theological basis for inclusivity?  Certainly. God demonstrates inclusivity throughout scripture through myriad stories: the rescue of Rahab, a Canaanite, from one of the hated enemy groups of Israel; the redemption of Ruth, a pagan Moabitess, and member of an accursed race; and the saving of the people of Nineveh in spite of Jonah’s unwillingness to warn them about impending destruction.

In the New Testament, Jesus, our Saviour, is born, not in a palace in Jerusalem, but near a cattle trough in the small town of Bethlehem. Angels announced his birth, not to the powerful or rich, but to humble shepherds, who were not even permitted as witnesses in a court of law.

For his inner circle, Jesus chose people who were so diverse they would have struggled to be in the same room together under normal circumstances. There was Peter, impulsive, ambitious, self-assertive, and quick to commit without fully understanding the meaning of Jesus’ words or actions; and James and John, nick-named the “Sons of Thunder” by Jesus because they wanted to burn up a city when the people refused to welcome Jesus;  Simon from the Zealots, a group that fought against Roman rule; and Matthew, who collected taxes on Rome’s behalf.

In a society where the witness of a woman was not admitted in court, Jesus first directly acknowledged his title of Messiah to a Samaritan woman of questionable reputation, who promptly spread the news to her community (John 4:25-42). He was compassionate towards social outcasts. He noticed people that others ignored or rejected. He stopped to hear the cries of those excluded from Jewish society—the blind, the lame, the mentally ill, and lepers. He honoured the despised by eating at their table (Luke19:5).

At his resurrection, he chose to appear to Mary Magdalene first, and asked her to carry the joyful news to the rest of his disciples (John 20:17,18).

We can see from these examples that during his ministry, Jesus was radically inclusive. He didn’t just let people of all kinds tag along, he involved them and moved them from a place where they were of no value, to places of importance.

Though God requires it, and Jesus demonstrated it, being inclusive does not come naturally to human beings. We tend to compete rather than to work together, and we struggle to empathize with people who are not like us.

The Book of Acts clearly shows how difficult this could be. Having witnessed their radical inclusion as believers, Peter still needed both a vision from God and the miraculous outpouring of the Holy Spirit to persuade him that Gentiles were to be included in the family of God, without them needing to become Jews (Acts 10).

There were similar problems in Corinth where divisions ran deep along many lines, including the following of different leaders, divisions over meat offered to idols, and some members being seen as more important than others. The Apostle Paul publicly lectured Peter for eating separately from Gentiles, due to peer pressure from visiting Jews (Galatians 2:11-14).

For many, the requirement to be more inclusive was asking them to change deeply-ingrained habits of a lifetime but Paul, tackles these issues one by one and argues for a united body of believers.  In 1 Corinthians 8:11, he says the church is “one body” and each member is important, “for whom Christ died”.  

Do you find yourself struggling to be generous towards people who are different from you, or who aren’t part of your family or friendship group? Are you guilty of unfair treatment such as name-calling, work discrimination, gender stereo-typing, bullying, and harassment? Is your attention often attracted to popular people, rather than those who are alone or have problems? Are you introverted, and struggle to relate to people who are usually part of a noisy, extroverted group?

Let’s think about how you can be more open to connection with others, and more closely follow Jesus’ example of radical inclusivity. It takes thought, intentionality, practice, and Holy Ghost power.

[1] https://www.google.com/search?q=inclusivity+definition&oq=inclusivity+&aqs=chrome.4.69i57j0i433i512j0i131i433i512j0i512l7.6426j1j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

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• It is an innate tendency of nature and of life to manifest, grow, and become more; to produce more, and create more of everything. Scientists say that the Universe is always expanding and growing an endless number of stars and galaxies, and discovery of new sources of energy. This is bountifulness on a cosmic level.
• Bountifulness means abundance. There is abundance everywhere. The Universe is creating new things constantly which means constant growth and expansion. There is no limit to this expansion. In the physical environment, there are always new trees, new plants, animals, and various forms of life. In the production environment, manufacturers produce new cars, carpenters build new houses, and entrepreneurs create new businesses, and jobs. There is an abundance of stuff.
• Abundance can also appear in your personal life. You are living in a world where plenitude of everything is a fact: money, wealth, possessions as most people think, though not for everyone. But abundance also manifests in many other ways. It can manifest as opulence of love, friendship, knowledge, and health – as a great number of opportunities and plenty of fun and food, and good deeds.
• Thinking kinetically, it is also possible to possess plenty of energy, and you can create for yourself an abundance of time to do what you want; to have plenty of spirituality in your life, and there could be an abundance of caution, thinking, doing, or caring.
• Biblically, abundance is frequently mentioned as something God offers to those who trust in Him. Scripture says that God will provide an abundant life to those who “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.” Abundance in this sense means a life full of everything you need to sustain yourself in joy and purpose in Christ.
• There is abundance of everything on this planet. You might not have access to it right now, but I want to encourage you to move forward with confidence. Stop living from a place of lack and walk in the abundance that God has promised.
• Imagine that abundance is already manifesting in some area of your life. Feel it and enjoy the feeling. For the blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it. “For to the one who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” Matthew 13:12).

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• In unbearable suffering, refrain from injuring others vengefully with unrighteous retaliation.
• In righteous boasting, refrain from senseless evil and strong drink.
• In utter happiness, refrain from comparing past and future moments with the present.
• In exuberance, refrain from comparing one friend’s body weight with another’s.
• In inconsolable sadness, refrain from violence of tongue.
• In anger, refrain from both speech and action.
• In betrayal by a spouse, refrain from dealing a whipcrack to their back with your hand.
• In dissonance, refrain from the fusion of melodious, harmonious notes.
• In failure, refrain from repetition of silly mistakes and frequent self-blame.
• In slights and putdowns, refrain from shouting and hollering. A soft answer will often do the trick.
• In adversity and failure, refrain from quitting ‘cold turkey’.
• In trials and struggles, refrain from complaining and blaming.
• In intemperance, refrain from excessive indulgence of habit.
• In deep fear and uncertainty, refrain from holding yourself back.
• In times of misunderstanding, refrain from cruel criticism and fault-finding.

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Friendship is truly one of the greatest gifts in life. The Bible says:

• “One who has unreliable friendssoon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).
• “A friendloves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).
• “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Proverbs 27:9).

Friendship, one of the oldest parts of our culture and our humanity, is a very powerful meaningful relationship, that binds people together into a strong emotional bond. A lot of friendly people form bonds with their closest friends early in life, be it in high school, grade school, or pre-school. My oldest friendship is over four decades long and started when I entered high school. This underscores one of the most important core facts about friendship: real friends stick around and have a powerful impact on your life.

David and Jonathan

Of all the friendships in the Bible, that of David and Jonathan stands out the most to me. 1 Samuel 18 describes their friendship: “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”

While this is the essence of friendship, to love another as you love yourself, three other elements—displayed love, loyalty, and emotional openness – are essential traits that psychologists deem necessary for friendships to thrive.

Jonathan sacrificed for David, stripping himself of the items which represented his power and position, and giving them to him. Jonathan was also unwaveringly loyal to David, warning him of King Saul, his own father’s treachery and desire to kill him. The two friends also shared a close emotional bond as well, and were unafraid of sharing their feelings: Jonathan wept when it became clear to him that David had to leave.

As the COVID-19 pandemic drags on for many of us, making and maintaining friendships has become even more important. Even if you’re quarantining or in isolation for a recent infection, it’s important that you find ways of reaching out to others, strengthening your sense of connection, and alleviating loneliness and isolation.

What are the benefits of friendships?

• Good friends are good for your health. They can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times.
• Friends prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. They can also increase your sense of belonging and purpose; boost your happiness and reduce your stress; improve your self-confidence and self-worth; and help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
• Friends also play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Adults with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression and high blood pressure.
• Studies have even found that older adults with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.

What’s a healthy number of friends?

Quality counts more than quantity but I have heard that it is difficult to nourish and maintain more than ten friends at a time. While it’s good to cultivate a diverse network of friends and acquaintances, you also want to nurture a few truly close friends who will be there for you through thick and thin.

Focus on the way a friendship feels, not what it looks like.

The most important quality in a friendship is the way the relationship makes you feel—not how it looks on paper, how alike you seem on the surface, or what others think. Ask yourself:

• Do I feel better after spending time with this person?
• Am I myself around this person?
• Do I feel secure, or do I feel like I have to watch what I say and do?
• Is the person supportive and am I treated with respect?
• Is this a person I can trust?

The bottom line: if the friendship feels good, it is good, but if a person tries to control you, criticizes you, abuses your generosity, or brings unwanted drama or negative influences into your life, it’s time to re-evaluate the friendship. A good friend does not require you to compromise your values, always agree with them, or disregard your own needs.

Why is it sometimes hard to make friends or maintain friendships?

Developing and maintaining good friendships takes effort. The enjoyment and comfort friendship can provide, however, makes the investment worthwhile. However, many adults (including me) find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up existing friendships. Friendships may take a back seat to other priorities, such as work or caring for children or aging parents. You and your friends may have grown apart due to changes in your lifestyles or interests. Or maybe you’ve moved to a new community and haven’t yet found a way to meet people.

How can I nurture my friendships?

Making a new friend is just the beginning of teh journey. Cultivating friendships takes time so you need to nurture that new connection. To do this consider the following useful steps:

Be the friend that you would like to have. Use the golden rule and treat your friend just as you want them to treat you. Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time.

Be a good listener. Be prepared to listen to and support friends just as you want them to listen to and support you.

Give your friend space. Don’t be too clingy, or needy, or try to monopolize your friend. Everyone needs space to be alone or spend time with other people as well.

Don’t set too many rules and expectations. Instead, allow your friendship to evolve naturally. You are unique individuals so your friendship probably won’t develop exactly as you expect.

Be forgiving. No one is perfect and every friend will make mistakes. No friendship develops smoothly so when there’s a bump in the road, try to find a way to overcome the problem and move on. It will often deepen the bond between you.

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I am sure you have heard the term” have a cutting edge” or “be at the cutting edge”. It refers to the “most modern stage of development in a particular type of work or activity” or “the most recent stage in the development of something” that usually gives an advantage.[1] So, you often hear of companies at the cutting edge of communication technology or scientific evidence; or organizations wanting employees with skills that put the company at the cutting edge of product design or innovation.

Yesterday, as I was chatting with a friend who I admire in many ways, I was reminded of this term when she shared that she feared she has lost her spiritual cutting edge. She used to care about ministry and being involved in ministry but feels as if she has lost her effectiveness and enthusiasm for doing the Lord’s work. As this can happen to any one of us, I want to share some of my thoughts on recovering your spiritual cutting edge from 2 Kings 6:1-7.

The “sons of the prophets” (today, we might refer to them as a class of theology students) were studying under the Prophet Elisha. Many young men had joined the seminary but soon they ran out of space to accommodate everyone. So, they came up with an idea to build a new dormitory. With Elisha, the trainer’s permission, and his encouraging and inspiring presence, they went down to the Jordan river to start cutting down trees, to build their new accommodations.

Like many students, the one in this passage, did not have all the resources he needed and resorted to borrowing to fulfil his lack. He borrowed an axe so he could do his part and help with the building project. Pretty soon a problem arose. One day, while cutting down a tree, his axe head flew off the handle, landed in the Jordan river and sank to the bottom. In one mighty swing, he lost his cutting edge, and the power tool that made him effective.

Ever felt like this, spiritually? I have, at least a few times, but the question is, “What should you do when you think you’ve lost your spiritual cutting edge?”

Here are a few suggestions for recovering your spiritual cutting edge:

• Accept responsibility for losing your spiritual edge.                                                                                                                                             This young man lost his cutting edge and his effectiveness in doing the work he set out to do. He suffered the loss while he was cutting trees. He didn’t blame anyone else for what had happened! No, He took full responsibility for what had happened. Maybe, he had neglected to maintain his power tool and to ensure it was in good working order. Such neglect may also be true of your spiritual life. When you lose your “spiritual edge”, you must accept personal responsibility for it. You can point a finger at the Pastor or Elder and say “I lost my spiritual edge” because the sermons you guys preach are boring and I don’t feel engaged; or you can say “I lost my spiritual edge because the church’s programs do not meet my needs” or “I am working too hard doing church assignments and I lost my spiritual edge”. The truth is the blame lies with you and you must take responsibility for the loss. To prevent this from happening, you must constantly ensure that your spiritual connection with God is tight and firm to prevent slippage and loss.

• Stop chopping as soon as you recognize you’ve lost your edge.                                                                                                                              When the young prophet lost his cutting edge, he stopped swinging as soon as he realized it was missing. He took a break. Think about it. If he continued trying to cut down trees, he would only be swinging at the tree bark, making noise, wasting time, and losing energy without making any real progress. He stopped chopping and so should you. If you sense that you have lost your spiritual edge, stop. Take a break. Rest. Pray. Study. Reconnect with God and meditate on His greatness. Reflect on who you are, what you do, and why you do it to better understand your divine purpose.

• Consider your accountability to the resource owner.                                                                                                                                    Having lost his cutting edge, the young prophet cried out for help. “Alas, my master! It was borrowed” (2 Kings 6:5). He lamented the loss of the borrowed axe head. It did not belong to him, and he would have to return it to the rightful owner who lent it to him. Likewise, your gifts, talents, and any ministries or opportunities you have, are not yours. They belong to God, the owner of everything in heaven and earth. 1 Corinthians 6: 19, 20 says “You are not your own and what you have does not belong to you. You are a manager, a steward, a trustee of what belongs to the Lord, and you will have to answer to Him for all that he has entrusted to you to manage. Always consider that.

• Seek help.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The cry of the young student was also an immediate call for help. “Alas, my master!” he said to Elisha because there was nothing he could do about the situation on his own. He needed help. I do not think he expected Elisha, the man of God, to perform a miracle, but he recognized he needed his help. You too need help. You cannot recover your spiritual cutting edge on your own. Call on the Lord, and ask Him to do for you that which you cannot do for yourself. Seek help from spiritual leaders the Lord has placed in your life for fellowship, encouragement, and support. Once you have done this, God will act to help you restore your spiritual edge.

• Examine the problem closely.                                                                                                                                                                                            Elisha responded to the young man’s cry for help with a question, “Where did it fall?” This question required the young man to reflect on what happened, to retrace his steps, to examine his situation. So should you. Take the time and trouble to examine the problem. Where and when did you lose your spiritual edge? Was it through neglect of Bible study and prayer? When you fell back into some old sinful habit? When you stopped regular church attendance, or after some controversy with a fellow believer?  Our tendency is to sink into despair, or to keep trying to work through the problem on our own without identifying where the missing ‘axe head’ is located so you could retrieve it.

• Expect God to provide help, then retrieve your cutting edge.                                                                                                                                  The story about the sunken axe head ends with a miracle. Elisha, the man of God, threw a stick into the water, and the axe head floated to surface of the water. Yes, the iron axe head floated. Then the young student retrieved it himself. God miraculously intervened to restore what the young prophet lost. Similarly, when you lose your spiritual edge, it is important to wait for God’s response, and to and to make every effort personally to retrieve your spiritual edge. Notice, although God performs the miracle of restoration, you have to retrieve your cutting edge yourself. So, if you have neglected Bible study, prayer, and regular church attendance you must recommit yourself to doing these things again to restore what was lost. Remember, only with God’s help, can you recover your spiritual edge. He assures you that when you seek him, you will find him, when you search for him with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).

Have you lost your spiritual edge? Take action today, and experience the miracle God as for you.

[1] https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/cutting-edge

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The theme for this year’s International Women’s Day in March was Choose to Challenge. As I pondered the words, I ask myself “Challenge what”? I answer: Challenge, inequality, poverty, bias and stereotypes; challenge exclusiveness ad discrimination; challenge racism and hate, and the list could go on and on.

As I ponder this theme, I am reminded of a story in the Gospels of Matthew and Mark that speaks to a different challenge – the challenge of women banding together to harm someone else. Their tool, conspiracy with the help of a drunken leader. Herodias, one of the Bible’s famous villains and her daughter conspire to murder John the Baptist, Jesus’ cousin.

Herodias was a Jewish princess, a clever politician, and a powerful influential woman in the early Roman empire. She married her half-uncle, Herod Philip, and shortly after her marriage, she bore a daughter. It was not long before her husband’s brother, Herod Antipas, the ruler of Galilee, fell in love with Herodias and desired to marry her.

But there was one obstacle: both of them were married. Herod Antipas who played a big part in the execution of Jesus Christ, had married the daughter of the Nabataean King Aretas IV and Herodias was married to her half uncle. To solve this problem, they both divorced their spouses and married each other.

According to the Bible, when Herodias found out that John, the Baptist opposed their marriage and deemed it unlawful, she wanted him dead. To prevent his death, her husband imprisoned John. Antipas did not want to put John, the Baptist to death because although he liked to listen to his preaching (Mark 6:20), he feared him. Furthermore, Antipas may have feared that if he killed John his followers would riot.

Herodias, on the other hand was constantly on the lookout for a way to silence John. Her opportunity came on Herod’s Antipas’ birthday. During the celebrations that were filled with debauchery and drunkenness, Herodias’ daughter danced for Antipas and it delighted him greatly. Losing control of what little inhibitions he had, Herod took an oath, in front of witnesses that he would give her whatever she wanted.

Herodias, her mother, pulling the strings of revenge in this plot saw her opportunity and instructed her to ask for the head of John the Baptist as a reward. Although he was appalled by the request, sadly, Herod Antipas agreed because he did not want to break his oath or seem weak in front of the witnesses if he denied her request. So, the imprisoned John was beheaded and his head given to the daughter who gave it to her mother on a silver platter.

 Food for Thought: Four things we should challenge

• Challenge Wickedness

What happens when your sexual interests lead you to fall in love with your own relatives? What do we do when we notice these patterns of dysfunction around us? We need to ask the Lord to give us a healthy vision and understanding of what is His idea of idea of a healthy relationship; what is right in His eye eyes compared to what we may be getting used to seeing.

Often, we do not realize that dysfunction is going on around us because we may hear that it is normal to be a particular way do a particular thing; but it takes God giving us a godly vision and perspective of wholeness and health to set us down the path of freedom. Unlike Herodias and Herod Antipas, we should try to live decent, righteous lives. When faced with it, we should acknowledge our wrong-doing and not seek endlessly to escape the consequences of our actions. Moreover, we shouldn’t stand by passively and allow wickedness to flourish around us.

• Challenge Drunkenness

 Herod’s judgment was distorted by pride and drunkenness. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he had made a mistake and was not prepared to lose face before his banquet guests. From a health standpoint, Herod got so drunk he made a ridiculous offer to a dancing girl: “Whatever you ask I will give you, up to half my kingdom” (Mark 6:3, N.I.V.), and he wasn’t a big enough man to admit to his folly and withdraw his promise.

 It is always foolish to make grand gestures under the influence of alcohol. Proverbs 20:1 (N.I.V.) says, “Wine is a mocker; strong drink is raging and whoever is deceived thereby is not wise.” That means—drink too much wine or liquor, and that drink will make a fool out of you. We must avoid drunkenness and its effects on both body and mind.

• Challenge Yourself to Trust God Always

Many have asked, “Where is God in this story when John’s head is cut off? Did he stop working to save us? The answer lies in the Mark’s sandwich stories. Immediately before the Herod narrative, we read of Jesus commissioning His twelve disciples to go, in pairs to take the good news of salvation to the villages. Immediately following the Herod narrative, we read of the return of the Twelve to Jesus.

So, what was God doing? The answer is: God was continuing to be at work to save mankind. By His Spirit and through those called by Jesus to proclaim and enact His kingdom, God was working so that others might be drawn to know Him. Then as now, while suffering is on full display for all to see, the Holy Spirit is at work calling men to repentance.  Let’s challenge ourselves to depend upon God’s leading through His Holy Spirit, and let’s make sure we are not bypassed.

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