I don’t know about you, but I am ready for a break from bad news. Bernie Madoff made off with millions of dollars of other people’s money, senseless killings are an everyday occurrence, many are losing their livelihoods and homes, and stress and tension are everywhere.

No matter how strong or powerful or confident we are, we all face tough times as we live in this world. One day we feel invincible and mighty; the next, deflated, lost and scared.  If you haven’t already, you may realize that the hardest part of tough times is to hold on to hope.

I’ve been thinking a lot about hope recently and especially about how so many brilliant and successful people like Robin Williams and Kate Spade lose it and take their own lives. Why is it that amidst vicious challenges that threaten to squeeze me to a breaking point, I too haven’t given up? Simply put, it’s because I’ve been able to hold on to hope.

What is Hope?

Hope, in my opinion, is one of the most powerful and positive mindsets we can have. In everyday usage, hope is often described as a form of wishful thinking that’s differentiated from certainty. Someone says, for instance “I don’t know what’s going to happen but I hope so and so happens.”

That’s absolutely not what hope means to me. My hope, Christian hope, is trusting in a certain outcome or possibility: a confident expectation. Simply put, it says God has promised something and you can confidently place your trust in what He says because he has said it. It’s all about waiting patiently, ardently and with certainty for God’s promises to be fulfilled. Wow!

How does hope affect us?

As I look around the world today, it seems that many of the issues we buckle under in society are the result of a lack of hope. Think about it. People live for the here and now. They value earthly or material things such as power, prestige and possessions. Although they live in comfort, they lead miserable, bitter lives that lack joy and peace. They run from trials, often blaming others for their own failures. To avoid this, our hope must be secure in God.

Hope affects us on different levels: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Hope has been shown to boost your immune system reducing stress and anxiety so every day you wake up feeling positive. Those who lack hope often fall into rhythms of negative thinking and are full of resentment, pessimism and can even suffer from depression. Hope is also essential for creating self-worth, improving social relationships, motivating positive action, and broadening and building your mind, and looking forward to eternity.

How to build hope?

Our Christian faith is based on hope in Jesus. In fact, one of the key goals of Scripture is to develop and increase our hope. In 1834, Edward Mote summarized the Christian hope in his now famous hymn:

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness.                                                                                                                                  I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus name.                                                                                                                                    On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand.

In addition, the Bible says: “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). This implies that hope, like faith is strengthened by the word of God. Hope comes from reading God precious and great promises and trusting in them. Additionally, “…

Additionally, “…everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope” (Romans 15:4, NIV).

In verse 13 of Romans 15, the Apostle Paul reminds us that God is the source of hope and He wants your hope to greatly abound or increase. He says “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

The Apostle Peter also tells us that our hope is a living hope. He says “May the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ be blessed! On account of his vast mercy, he has given us new birth. You have been born anew into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (1 Peter 1:3, CEB).

The essence of what we look to in the Bible is to build our hope. So, let’s look away from the circumstances that confront us and look to Jesus and His promises and hold fast to them. Personally, there are three essential promises to which I hold, and by God’s grace, I never want to let go of them. I encourage you to do the same.

First, I have the hope of eternal life. Titus 1:2 says the “hope of eternal life which God who does not lie promised before the beginning of time.” Know that only in Christianity is there such a promise of a glorious life beyond the grave.

Then, there is the hope of a glorious church. Jesus promises to purify the church “that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing…” When we look at the church today, full of imperfect people, this hope might appear to be a stretch. However, know that God will complete the work he started in his people so that His church “should be holy and without blemish.”

But arguably, the most pivotal of all hope is the blessed hope of the glorious appearing of Jesus Christ at His second coming. This year, on July 20, it will be 50 years since human beings set foot on the moon. In the now famous words of Neil Armstrong “it was one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” Man had successfully broken out of the bounds of earth’s atmosphere.

I admit, I’ve felt jealous of Neil Armstrong but only until I pondered more deeply the blessed hope and my trip to heaven. You see, when Jesus comes, I will hear that trumpet blast which beckons the dead saints to rise. Then, we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet Jesus in the air.

With my glorified body, I will glide past the moon (later for you Neil Armstrong) and the galaxies to the place Jesus has prepared for us. What a glorious blessed hope! Let us keep it alive. Let’s pass it on to the next generation. Most importantly, Let us never lose it or lose sight of it because he who promised is faithful.

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While trust is something that lies at the foundation of every relationship, it’s something with which I struggle. One reason that comes to mind is not always having a clear understanding of the nature of trust. I balk at times when someone I hardly know says: “trust me’. This may have happened to you too.

What does it really mean to trust someone?

I think about trust as a choice: I am choosing to be vulnerable and open as I relate to someone else because that person is full of integrity and has proven to be consistently honest, dependable and reliable. As such, I trust in God on one level, and my husband on another.

My views about trust also point to several key elements:

• Trust is not about putting blind faith in someone or having a good ‘gut feeling’ about them. Trust is merit-based and should be earned.
• Trust is different from love and forgiveness which are freely given. I don’t have to trust someone in order to love or forgive them, but love and forgiveness are vital in order to grow and build trust, especially if trust was broken.
• Trust calls for a belief that someone has your best interests at heart; that the person to be trusted is able and willing to do what s/he says. It’s hard to trust a good-for-nothing or to depend on someone who beats around the bush.

Recently, while surfing the Internet, I came across Robert Whipple’s article titled “3 Tricky Questions About Trust”[1] in which he invites everyone to answer the three questions he posed.  In this blog, I would like to consider and answer those three tantalizing questions for myself. I encourage you to do the same even as you contemplate my responses.

Here are the three questions along with my answers.

1. What is the relationship between trust and vulnerability?

Trust involves vulnerability, defenselessness or exposure. When I trust another person, I am literally exposing myself to not only hurt and disappointment but also to joy, kindness, and most of all, reciprocal trust. This is a risk we must be willing to take in order to trust.

As a follower of Christ, I am called to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3: 5, NIV). This is a call to submit myself to God’s leading, to experience not only the joy that comes with obedience but to also be patient and wait on Him (his timing) to meet all my needs. This can be very challenging for fallible human beings dealing with an infallible God who knows us better than we know ourselves. To make ourselves vulnerable, susceptible and defenseless, demonstrating total confidence in Him is not natural but this what we are called to do.

What about person to person relationships with other fallible human beings? I believe vulnerability is also critical to healthy person to person relationships but I struggle with whether it is mandatory like it is for our relationship with God. You see, NOT trusting someone does not mean anything ‘bad’ and is certainly not a judgment against the other person. Not trusting someone that you don’t know well enough to decide whether to trust or not, is healthy. When I am expected or required to trust someone blindly, I consider that a red flag about the person who has this expectation of me. In fact, that person may be trying to act like God, and there is only one God.

In marriages and other close relationships, however, NOT trusting isn’t an option. We must be willing to take some risk that we will be safe and secure with our partner. We must be willing to trust if the relationship is to grow and develop over time.  It takes courage and commitment to make a sacred, lifelong, marital commitment – to put your heart on the line (or money on the line if it’s a business relationship). Without this, we won’t be able to strengthen and grow our marriages.

2. Can you trust someone you fear?

While the word ‘trust’ inspires confidence, dependence and reliance, the word ‘fear’ engenders terror, dread, and horror. Trust and fear, therefore, seem like opposites.  That being said, my answer to the question above is ‘yes’ and ‘no’. I have been in situations where I trusted someone that I was afraid of and others when I did not trust the person I feared.

For instance, I’ve had bosses at work that I feared because of their positional power, and at times, I was afraid of my own mother because of what she could do to me when I disobeyed.  Nonetheless, I trusted them to do what was best for me –to give an honest recommendation or the proper training in the case of my bosses, and to feed, clothe and protect me in the case of my mother.

On the other hand, I’ve been in situations where a person in authority lied about and mischaracterized my actions; spoke disparagingly about me, and blamed me for things that went wrong. I couldn’t and didn’t trust at those times.  I feared the person’s destructive tactics and never sought to get close to them.

I think many are also programmed into believing they have to trust immediately. It starts when a little child meets a new relative and, as the crying child latches on to the parent’s side, s/he insists that the child allow the stranger to kiss and hug them. I don’t believe this is healthy. No one should be forced to hug and kiss strangers because someone else says so. For me, I’ve learned to trust when I feel that a person is ‘trustworthy’ not because they have a degree or title or are in a position of power.

My relationship with God, however, is a different matter. The Bible tells us that “there is no fear in love. But perfect loves drives out fear…” (1 John 4:8, NIV). Fear and trust cannot exist in our relationship with God for one will dispel the other. God does not want us to be fearful of Him. He wants us to trust Him.

The key to overcoming fear is total and complete trust in God. Trusting God is how Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego faced the fiery furnace without fear (Daniel Chapter 3). Trusting God is how Stephen stood fearlessly before his persecutors (Acts Chapter 7). To trust God is to refuse to give in to fear; to know that He will make things right even in the dark times. This trust comes from knowing God and knowing that He is good. Once we have learned to trust God, we will no longer be afraid of the things that come against us.

3. Can you respect someone you don’t trust; and can you trust someone you don’t respect?

The word respect means to show admiration for someone, or to look up to someone. Sometimes, respect is the basis for trusting so0meone and sometimes, it isn’t. For instance, I may respect and trust my favourite Math teacher because s/he taught me throughout High School. S/he was knowledgeable and helped me to achieve my educational goals.

I may also respect people for their moral standards or achievements.  I respect Queen Elizabeth for her morality and Barack Obama for his achievements but I’ve never met them and have no basis on which to trust them.

It’s also possible to respect people based on their reputation but personally not be able to trust them, at least not yet. Once my Church got a new and respected Pastor. I did not trust him immediately. I wanted to wait and see if my respect for him will lead to trust over time based on his actions over time.

I find, however,  that if I lose respect for someone due to personal disappointment or due to some moral failing, then my trust in them is also eroded. I remember how disappointed I was to hear that one of my favourite Pastors had misappropriated funds from the Church treasury.  I lost respect for him and with it some trust. I had the same feeling towards my friend’s husband when I learned he was charged for domestic abuse. For me, trust and respect go hand and respect is a foundation for trust.

In the end, the biggest question for me is: do I trust and respect myself? I believe the highest form of trust is self-trust. Self-respect is about knowing your worth and having the ability to adjust your life and remove people from it if they are treating you poorly.  I must be willing to trust myself to make the right decisions and to respect myself, even if no one else chooses to do so. I must trust myself to know when to trust or not trust and I’ve learned not to write off my needs, my feelings and even my premonitions.

[1] https://leadergrow.com/articles/198-3-tricky-questions-about-trust

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The need to build and strengthen marriages and families is more pressing than ever. With alarming divorce rates, parenting challenges and complex family dynamics, maintaining healthy relationships is difficult.

That’s why, the Halifax Seventh-day Adventist church is hosting this two-week series called Family Matters. It’s a type of family tune-up that’s meant to equip families with the right tools to face real-world issues; to grow closer to each other and to God.

Join me in Halifax, Nova Scotia from April 26 to May 11 for this exciting family life series. Checkout our Facebook page at halifaxadventist.org

Family Matters Poster

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A few years ago, I was leaving the office late. As I walked along the sidewalk next to my office building, I saw that a petite, elderly lady was struggling to walk against the force of the wind. She was about 4 feet tall and weighed about 90 pounds. Although I was in a hurry to get to my car, I stopped to ask her if she needed my help. When she graciously said “yes”, I took her arm and together we walked slowly past the tall, downtown building that had created a kind of wind tunnel that made it very difficult to walk. We continued walking for the next 400 meters or so before we bid each other goodbye. She was grateful. I was thankful.

Recently, I read a similar story about a New York taxi driver and an adventure he took with an old, frail woman. When he took the call, he knew it would be the last one for that shift. As he pulled up at the dimly lit house, he honked his horn. Getting no immediate response, he thought about racing away like the typical New York cab driver. Resisting that urge, he turned off the engine, entered the yard and went up the stairs to knock on the door.

A frail voice said” coming” and when the door slowly opened, he saw someone who looked like his grandmother. Patiently, he took her suitcase, then her arm and escorted her to the waiting car. Then she made a simple request; “Take me through the downtown one last time before my final stop, a convalescent home, where she would live out her final days.” That day, she got to revisit familiar places and he got an experience of a lifetime – great final moments with a complete stranger.

Everywhere, people are constantly on the move. We drive fast. We want food fast, and ‘fast’ food. We want ‘fast’ service and ‘fast’ resolutions to complex challenges. When we don’t get what we want fast, we become impatient. As we struggle with our own impatience, there is much we can learn by looking at the story of an impatient King in the book of 1 Samuel chapter 13.

A huge army of Philistines was going to fight against King Saul and his small band of soldiers. King Saul sent for Samuel, the priest, to come and make a sacrifice to God. Samuel sent word for King Saul to wait for about seven days. The Bible says, “Then he [Saul] waited seven days, according to the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and the people were scattered from him. So, Saul said, ‘Bring a burnt offering and peace offering here to me, and he offered the burnt offering” (1 Samuel 13:8-9, NKJV).

King Saul made the mistake of losing his patience. He felt he needed the Lord’s blessing and he wanted it right then. So, he disobeyed Samuel and offered an animal sacrifice to God himself rather than wait for the priest and prophet Samuel to do that. When Samuel came that very night, and he said to King Saul, “You have done foolishly. You have not kept the commandment of the Lord your God….” He also went on to say that God wanted to work a big miracle in King Saul’s behalf, but his disobedience had interfered with God’s plan. The consequences were dreadful: “But now your kingdom shall not continue,” the prophet told him. Later on, the impatient king did lose his kingdom to a young shepherd boy named David.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, I wonder what great moments we could have had with our friends and loved ones that we let slip away because we were not patient. How many times did we fly into a rage and say unloving words because we were not patient? Like King Saul, how many times have we spoiled God’s plans for our lives because we were not patient?

My mom died two years ago on Halloween. Since then, I’ve often wondered about how she faced death. Did she know it was near? Was she anxious about it? Or did she patiently wait for the day? Was she anxious to rest until the Lord returns?

Begs the question: “Do you sometimes get impatient for our Lord’s return?”

In the book of James, we read “… be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand” (James 5: 7-8, NKJV). God also describes His people, the redeemed, with these words, “Here is the patience of the saints: here are those who keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus” (Revelation 14:12. NKJV). Let’s all trust in God’s promises. Let’s all have faith in His Word. Let’s all pray for the spiritual gift of patience.

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Overview 
The term “bucket list” has become very popular in today’s vernacular. It usually refers to a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime. As we approach Christmas 2018, permit me to limit its meaning to the experiences or achievements one can have during the Christmas holiday period.

When we reflect on the Christmas story, we usually focus on the main characters: Mary, Joseph, and, of course, baby Jesus. The account of the ‘virgin’ birth of Jesus Christ in Luke 2:8–20 tells us that an angel of the Lord appeared to the shepherds who were living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. The glory of the Lord shone around the shepherds and they were frightened. But the angel said to them “Do not be afraid I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Verses 1,2, N.I.V).

The Good News 
The angel said to them “Today in the town of David, a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger”. To validate the news, a great company of the heavenly host suddenly appeared with the angel praising God and saying “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests” Verse 13, N.I.V.)

There are four things I have learned from the shepherd’s reaction to the good news they received from the angel of the Lord.  Those four lessons are the four items I have decided to put on my “bucket list” this Christmas. I invite you to join me in putting them at the top of your Christmas to-do list too.

My Christmas 2018 “Bucket List”

Item One: Believe the angel’s message about our Saviour’s birth. It’s true and relevant in 2018.  The angel, accompanied by a great company of the heavenly host announced in spectacular fashion that Jesus Christ, the Messiah and our Saviour had been born. The shepherds were convinced by the angel. They believed the message that God had become man, and as soon as the heavenly host left, the shepherds hurriedly started their trek to look for the baby. What are you waiting for? Let’s go too. Hurry.

Item Two: Obey the angel’s message about our Saviour’s birth.
The shepherds did exactly as they were told. They when the angel left them, they got up and went straight to Bethlehem to “see this thing that has happened which the Lord has told us about”  (verse 15, N.I.V). While I am not in any way, shape or form asking you to travel to Bethlehem in Israel, I am asking you to go and seek for Christ in the manger… among the abused, distressed, displaced, and destitute in their mangers. Don’t let the commercial advertisements hide him or the insular love that we reserve only for our own families. Remember, the shepherds left their own flocks and went to find the baby. So, seek out the God-Man and worship Him as the Messiah, our substitute for sin.

Item Three: Tell. Share the angel’s message with someone this Christmas.
When the shepherds reached Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph and the baby who was lying in the manger, “they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child.” This Christmas, I will tell someone that I found Jesus who was born many years ago and that they too could find him if they would hurry to “‘Bethlehem”. I will tell them what he has done for me and especially show them the love that flows through my heart from him. Join me and the angels as we testify of his birth.

Item Four: Experience the joy of knowing that everything God says is true. Worship Him.
All who heard the shepherds’ message about the birth of Jesus were amazed at what they said to them. Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.”

When we find Jesus, we experience holy wonder because everything he says is true… just as we have been told. Sweet. Then, all we can do is to praise and glorify God for all he has given us. I want to do just that this Christmas. I am doing that this Christmas. Want to join me? Let’s do it. Make my bucket list your reality too and receive a Christmas blessing.

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It’s a “Biggy”. This month, my husband and I are celebrating thirty years of marriage. While this is no small feat, and we aren’t surprised, we are thankful to be able to celebrate this milestone.

I was broken when we first met in the capital city Georgetown, a few months after a tough break-up of a long-standing, relationship. Having just started undergraduate studies at the University of Guyana (UG), I often travelled d home on weekends to be with family and to ease the sting of separation. The weekend we met, I had remained in Georgetown, to be able to sing with the Linden SASCA choir at a massive tent crusade.  The encounter was brief but humorous as we exchanged smiles as he made a wise quip following my use of the word “dogmatically” in a conversation with my sister.  You could say he was eavesdropping on our conversation. He would say he’d come closer to get a better look at me.

Fast forward six years later and we were about to get married. A wedding is a beautiful and breathtaking ceremony that brings people together from far and near. Among the colorful bridesmaids and the happy new couple, you will notice a pair of old smiles and sometimes, a few tears in the crowd.

Ours happened not quite as we planned: a double wedding with my younger sister, Leslyn. There we were – two happy sisters walking down the aisle to make a lifetime commitment to their betrotheds, announcing our self-crafted vows and making promises that we would try to uphold “till death do us part.” After that it was onto the reception where together with about 200 guests, we shared toasts, took pictures, and had a grand meal and cake.

In honour of our thirtieth year of marriage, I am driven to reflect on the lessons learned since that bright Sunday in July three decades ago.  Probably, you the reader might find a few tips to help keep your marriage going strong as you grow older together.

1. We remain grateful for our blessings

I am a blessed woman. Roderick is a gift from God to me. After three decades, we love each other more deeply.  We are blessed to have each other. We’re thankful for the many experiences that add up to a life of shared joy, sacrifice, pain, and purpose. When I bid my husband good bye in the morning, I realize it didn’t have to be this way. There is no law that says I had to be married to a handsome, Christ-like, kind and forgiving man—but I am! That’s pure grace, not at all deserved, and I’m grateful.

We are also blessed parents. To be parents of a godly child is an unspeakable blessing. As Christian parents, we had the privilege of following the pattern Moses gave to the Israelites: “that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your sons and your son’s son, by keeping all of his statutes and his commandments which I command you all the days of your life, and that your days may be long, Deuteronomy 6:2.” Seeing our daughter walking faithfully with God is a testimony to His kindness, mercy and faithfulness. The love of family is a gift. I deserve none of it but I’m grateful for all of it.

Here are some words of gratitude from my most recent birthday card from Roderick: “A man like me has a lot to be thankful for. And at the top of the list is you- a woman who knows me accepts me, and whose love has made so many things right. I’ll never know what I did to deserve a life this good. But I do know what’s at the very heart of it: You. Beautiful you. Happy Birthday.”

2. Our love is not enough to sustain our marriage

Over the past thirty years, we’ve developed a strong marriage bond with prayer being the single largest contributor. We started praying with and for each other during our courtship and this practice carried over into our marriage. Our daily family devotions and Friday evening vespers or what we called “welcoming the Sabbath” were the keys to spiritual growth individually, and as a couple. In fact one of the most romantic things for me is to hear my husband petition God for me – by name. By God’s grace, we’ve proven that “the family that prays together stays together.” Our love is not enough to sustain our marriage. It’s our shared faith in God that sustains our marriage.

3. We Can’t Fix Each Other … so we appreciate each other’s differences

My husband Roderick and I couldn’t be more different – personality-wise and temperament-wise. He’s ‘laid back’ and somewhat carefree. I am go-getter, driven and determined to get results. In large part, my husband has let me be myself choosing to celebrate my uniqueness rather than change me. Not so for me. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent in that fruitless pursuit of reshaping him in my image only to realize I must allow the Holy Spirit to transform him into God’s image.

In 30 years of marriage, Roderick still has some of the same foibles he had when I first met him. That three-note (um-um um) spontaneous ditty he emits every time he opens the vehicle still bugs me but no amount of complaining on my part has changed that. I bet, he can say the same about me with my “always” and “never”. Thanks to each other’s patience, we are both better people than we were before—but not because we tried to “fix” one another. Our differences are unique attributes given by God. The Bible says we are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26) and we are God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)…designed to fulfill His special purpose which He chose for us.

4. Sex isn’t important; it’s vital

Sex is a beautiful gift that a good God gave to married folk. I think of it as the adhesive that literally pastes man and woman together in “one-flesh”.  Sex, though highly over-rated by many, is a necessary ingredient in any healthy marriage.  Too many couples get into a withholding pattern, ignoring it for weeks or even months at a time, sometimes for good reasons and sometimes for stupid ones. This will lead to a self-made disaster.  My husband likes to tease now, “Are you still limber?” ”Do you still have it like 15 years ago?” While I was busy wearing many different hats – from wife to mom to homemaker to educator – I’m glad that I always found time for sexual intimacy. After a good time, we still like to hold each other as we fall asleep, which is something we did at years ten and 20. Sex is healthy for your marriage. Just do it … with regularity, enthusiasm, and mutuality!

5. Love can make you happy but happiness can’t be the goal

After 30 years of marriage, Roderick and I have experienced a wide range of emotions. We have learned that marriage, and life, are not a series of happy moments. There are many unhappy moments. So, it’s much easier now to recognize and enjoy the happy moments. Happiness, however, cannot be the goal of marriage or life. If it is, you will live much of your life thinking you’ve failed. God does not promise continual happiness. God counsels us to love each other. He promises to be with us to the very end of the age. That means he will never abandon us. He tells us that faith, hope and love will abide, with love being the greatest of the three (I Cor. 13). Understanding that is key to being able to tolerate sadness, hope for joyful moments, and recognize true happiness. So, focus on God and others, then improving your flaws, and you might land on something that resembles joy.

6. There will be hard knocks but walking and working together, we’ve made it

Surprise! Marriage life is hard. I learned this first-hand. Talk about disagreements and arguments; navigating unpleasant and unlovable “in-laws”. Talk about disappointments; health scares; and financial loss. I’ve had my fair share over these past thirty years. How do you rebound and come out better on the other side?

Marriage counselors and pastors and the Bible basically say you shouldn’t “let the sun go down on your anger.” While this is good counsel, what about those exhausting late night arguments when all you do is roll over and will yourself to sleep while he exits the bedroom for the basement couch?  Plus, some issues require time for clarity and resolution. They just can’t be solved overnight. We have always sought to resolve most of our conflicts, except some issues we agree to disagree on. “Happily ever after” isn’t just a fairytale; we are among those couples to prove that marriage can withstand any hurricane with the right mindset and the right character. Someone once said, “Marriage is the school from which you never graduate.” I agree. I’m now transitioning into my senior high school year and I can’t wait to enter university.

Happy Pearl Wedding Anniversary to us.

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