“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” This phrase is reminiscent of school recess when you didn’t want others to know how hurtful their words truly were. Words possess an energy that can heal, help, hurt, or destroy. A single word contains various hidden messages. It could leave us stunned for a moment or forever. No matter what anyone tells you, words and ideas can change the world.
Scientific studies actually show that positive and negative words not only affect us on a deep psychological level, they also have a significant impact on the outcome of our lives. In their neuroscience experiment, “Do words hurt”, Maria Richter and collaborating scientists monitored subjects’ brain responses to auditory and imagined negative words. Their study found that negative words release stress and anxiety-inducing hormones in subjects. Words matter.
How many of us have thoughtful flashbacks over the negative words and taunts that were uttered to us in our lifetime? Why then as Christians, do we sometimes find humour in voicing negative words to someone else? Why is it so commonplace to insult someone and take no thought of what was said?
I remember, not too long after I met Roderick, I got mad one day and told somebody off. I did not use bad words. I don’t use them but my tone was measured and the pace of words so deliberate that the person knew not to mess with me again. I remember Roderick saying, “Yes, what you said was factual but you must always pass your words through three gates. Gate One:” Is it true? Gate Two: “Is it kind? Gate Three: “Is it necessary? I have never forgotten that counsel.
Every encounter we have with another human is an opportunity to witness about the goodness of God. You can do so with positive words. The words you speak can shift the atmosphere around someone’s day and possibly their life. Do you know you can compliment someone and change the trajectory of their day positively?
The Bible says in Proverbs 12:18 says, the words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Our words should bring healing to a soul in turmoil, to someone going through a tough time, to someone needing a friend. How about speaking positivity into those you meet everyday, and especially at Christmastime this year!
- It is an innate tendency of nature and of life to manifest, grow, and become more; to produce more, and create more of everything. Scientists say that the Universe is always expanding and growing an endless number of stars and galaxies, and discovery of new sources of energy. This is bountifulness on a cosmic level.
- Bountifulness means abundance. There is abundance everywhere. The Universe is creating new things constantly which means constant growth and expansion. There is no limit to this expansion. In the physical environment, there are always new trees, new plants, animals, and various forms of life. In the production environment, manufacturers produce new cars, carpenters build new houses, and entrepreneurs create new businesses, and jobs. There is an abundance of stuff.
- Abundance can also appear in your personal life. You are living in a world where plenitude of everything is a fact: money, wealth, possessions as most people think, though not for everyone. But abundance also manifests in many other ways. It can manifest as opulence of love, friendship, knowledge, and health – as a great number of opportunities and plenty of fun and food, and good deeds.
- Thinking kinetically, it is also possible to possess plenty of energy, and you can create for yourself an abundance of time to do what you want; to have plenty of spirituality in your life, and there could be an abundance of caution, thinking, doing, or caring.
- Biblically, abundance is frequently mentioned as something God offers to those who trust in Him. Scripture says that God will provide an abundant life to those who “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.” Abundance in this sense means a life full of everything you need to sustain yourself in joy and purpose in Christ.
- There is abundance of everything on this planet. You might not have access to it right now, but I want to encourage you to move forward with confidence. Stop living from a place of lack and walk in the abundance that God has promised.
- Imagine that abundance is already manifesting in some area of your life. Feel it and enjoy the feeling. For the blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it. “For to the one who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” Matthew 13:12).
- In unbearable suffering, refrain from injuring others vengefully with unrighteous retaliation.
- In righteous boasting, refrain from senseless evil and strong drink.
- In utter happiness, refrain from comparing past and future moments with the present.
- In exuberance, refrain from comparing one friend’s body weight with another’s.
- In inconsolable sadness, refrain from violence of tongue.
- In anger, refrain from both speech and action.
- In betrayal by a spouse, refrain from dealing a whipcrack to their back with your hand.
- In dissonance, refrain from the fusion of melodious, harmonious notes.
- In failure, refrain from repetition of silly mistakes and frequent self-blame.
- In slights and putdowns, refrain from shouting and hollering. A soft answer will often do the trick.
- In adversity and failure, refrain from quitting ‘cold turkey’.
- In trials and struggles, refrain from complaining and blaming.
- In intemperance, refrain from excessive indulgence of habit.
- In deep fear and uncertainty, refrain from holding yourself back.
- In times of misunderstanding, refrain from cruel criticism and fault-finding.
Friendship is truly one of the greatest gifts in life. The Bible says:
- “One who has unreliable friendssoon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).
- “A friendloves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).
- “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Proverbs 27:9).
Friendship, one of the oldest parts of our culture and our humanity, is a very powerful meaningful relationship, that binds people together into a strong emotional bond. A lot of friendly people form bonds with their closest friends early in life, be it in high school, grade school, or pre-school. My oldest friendship is over four decades long and started when I entered high school. This underscores one of the most important core facts about friendship: real friends stick around and have a powerful impact on your life.
David and Jonathan
Of all the friendships in the Bible, that of David and Jonathan stands out the most to me. 1 Samuel 18 describes their friendship: “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”
While this is the essence of friendship, to love another as you love yourself, three other elements—displayed love, loyalty, and emotional openness – are essential traits that psychologists deem necessary for friendships to thrive.
Jonathan sacrificed for David, stripping himself of the items which represented his power and position, and giving them to him. Jonathan was also unwaveringly loyal to David, warning him of King Saul, his own father’s treachery and desire to kill him. The two friends also shared a close emotional bond as well, and were unafraid of sharing their feelings: Jonathan wept when it became clear to him that David had to leave.
As the COVID-19 pandemic drags on for many of us, making and maintaining friendships has become even more important. Even if you’re quarantining or in isolation for a recent infection, it’s important that you find ways of reaching out to others, strengthening your sense of connection, and alleviating loneliness and isolation.
What are the benefits of friendships?
- Good friends are good for your health. They can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times.
- Friends prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. They can also increase your sense of belonging and purpose; boost your happiness and reduce your stress; improve your self-confidence and self-worth; and help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
- Friends also play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Adults with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression and high blood pressure.
- Studies have even found that older adults with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.
What’s a healthy number of friends?
Quality counts more than quantity but I have heard that it is difficult to nourish and maintain more than ten friends at a time. While it’s good to cultivate a diverse network of friends and acquaintances, you also want to nurture a few truly close friends who will be there for you through thick and thin.
Focus on the way a friendship feels, not what it looks like.
The most important quality in a friendship is the way the relationship makes you feel—not how it looks on paper, how alike you seem on the surface, or what others think. Ask yourself:
- Do I feel better after spending time with this person?
- Am I myself around this person?
- Do I feel secure, or do I feel like I have to watch what I say and do?
- Is the person supportive and am I treated with respect?
- Is this a person I can trust?
The bottom line: if the friendship feels good, it is good, but if a person tries to control you, criticizes you, abuses your generosity, or brings unwanted drama or negative influences into your life, it’s time to re-evaluate the friendship. A good friend does not require you to compromise your values, always agree with them, or disregard your own needs.
Why is it sometimes hard to make friends or maintain friendships?
Developing and maintaining good friendships takes effort. The enjoyment and comfort friendship can provide, however, makes the investment worthwhile. However, many adults (including me) find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up existing friendships. Friendships may take a back seat to other priorities, such as work or caring for children or aging parents. You and your friends may have grown apart due to changes in your lifestyles or interests. Or maybe you’ve moved to a new community and haven’t yet found a way to meet people.
How can I nurture my friendships?
Making a new friend is just the beginning of teh journey. Cultivating friendships takes time so you need to nurture that new connection. To do this consider the following useful steps:
Be the friend that you would like to have. Use the golden rule and treat your friend just as you want them to treat you. Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time.
Be a good listener. Be prepared to listen to and support friends just as you want them to listen to and support you.
Give your friend space. Don’t be too clingy, or needy, or try to monopolize your friend. Everyone needs space to be alone or spend time with other people as well.
Don’t set too many rules and expectations. Instead, allow your friendship to evolve naturally. You are unique individuals so your friendship probably won’t develop exactly as you expect.
Be forgiving. No one is perfect and every friend will make mistakes. No friendship develops smoothly so when there’s a bump in the road, try to find a way to overcome the problem and move on. It will often deepen the bond between you.
The Promise of the GPS
One of the biggest technological improvements in my lifetime is the Global positioning System (GPS). It has a been a long time since I printed out paper maps and turn-by-turn directions to get me places. Now, all I have to do is to plug in the address in either my handheld GPS or the one in my car and do what it says. I do not have to worry because my GPS knows the way.
The GPS is a United States-owned navigation system that offers land, sea, and airborne users positioning, navigation, and timing (PNT) services to determine their exact location, velocity, and time 24 hours a day, in all weather conditions, anywhere in the world.[1] The system comprises three segments:
- The space segment of satellites that act like the stars in constellations helping us know where they are supposed to be at any given time;
- The control segment or ground stations that use radar to make sure they are actually where we think they are; and
- The user segment, or receivers, like you might find in your phone or car, are constantly listening for the satellite signals to figure out how far away they are from some of them. Incredibly, a receiver on the ground can calculate its distance from four or more satellites that are miles up in space, and once that happens, it can tell exactly where you are.
The GPS knows which way is most efficient and lays out the best route, anticipating traffic and other roadblocks to help me get to my destination quickly and safely. This is especially true if it is somewhere I never visited. My GPS sees the big picture, and even if I make a mistake and miss a turn, it redirects me, with that well-known advisory “re-calculating”, and sets me on a new course.
The Holy Spirit is Our GPS
Just like the faith I put in my GPS, I need to choose God’s guidance and to trust His directions. God sees the big picture of our plans and gives guidance. He knows best, even when I think there’s a better way, or try to figure out my own way in life. Since I can’t always anticipate life’s roadblocks, I end up taking a detour, but God knows everything, and my journey is always smoother when I rely on His guidance. When I do mess up and take a wrong turn, He is faithful to redirect me with the assurance found in Isaiah, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21, NIV).
Like the GPS, the Holy Spirit does not require the user to transmit any data to prepare a new route for me, and to lead the way on the journey to heaven. Prayer, Bible study, and witnessing will help us see which route to take, but the Holy Spirit guides us into all truth. Jesus asks us to listen to His voice because He still speaks. He still guides. He still protects. However, we must quiet ourselves and listen carefully so He can get us where we need to go. Only when we are still can we hear the directions He gives. He is truly the Great Navigator. May we learn to rely on the Holy Spirit the same way we rely on our GPS.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Positioning_System
Growing up, I frequently experienced corporal punishment. It was fairly common for parents to establish their power and authority over what they called ‘disobedient or insolent children’ with whippings to the butt, hands, or feet. I also had the misfortune of getting double doses as I was also whipped by my school teachers. I want to say at the outset that my goal is not to discuss either the legality or rightness of spanking children though I confess that many times it felt like an unjust exhibition of ego.
Permit me to draw your attention to the subject of this blog: a familiar Bible story where someone also used the whip but in a very different way. Jesus and His disciples were on their way to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. Travelling by foot, they go to the city on Monday and headed straight for the temple. As they navigated the streets in Jerusalem, they passed thousands of worshippers from Palestine and other distant lands who had gathered for this important feast.
Unlike previous visits, Jesus saw a very disturbing sight upon entering the temple. Merchants and moneychangers were exchanging foreign currency and selling animal sacrifices to worshippers (pigeons, doves, sheep, goats, and oxen), overcharging them for the two essential things that were needed to participate in worship: temple coins and an animal to sacrifice.
Jesus’ heart ached at the lack of pity and compassion of the priests who claimed to be guardians of the poor, the blind and the lame but who rendered no assistance to get them humblest of offerings to offer to the Lord. He hated the noise and commotion in the temple court that made it impossible for the worshippers to pray. He was angry at the moneychangers’ greed and desecration of his house that he took some cords and wove them together into a whip.
Then he began to knock over the tables of the moneychangers, spilling coins on the ground. No one dared stop him as he declared “My house shall be called a house of prayer but you have made it a den of robbers” (Matthew 21:13, ESV). All at once, sheep, oxen, brokers, and cattle rushed from the temple to escape Jesus’ condemnation. The regular people were impressed by Jesus who once again brought peace out of commotion but the priests and rulers began to plot to destroy him.
What lessons can we learn from this story of Jesus cleansing the temple? I have a few important ones that I would like to share with you.
- We must take a stand against injustice.
Do you ever use others in order to advance your own purposes? Do you speak up when you see someone acting unjustly? Where is your whip when you see someone taking advantage of another in the workplace, at school, and even at church? Jesus took a stand and spoke up in no uncertain terms. Perhaps, we should get a whip and do the same.
- Anger can be a good thing.
God gave us the emotion of anger and he expects us to use it without sinning. Jesus was angry because people in authority were merchandising his grace and perverting the use of His Father’s house of worship but he did not sin. Does child abuse make you angry? What emotions are awakened when you hear about domestic violence, human trafficking, racism, and discrimination? Your anger can be a catalyst for getting involved in these causes that would otherwise be ignored. So, if anger is nowhere on your radar, you might want to ask yourself why not.
- We must be a magnet for change.
Soon after Jesus dealt with opportunists, he became a magnet for the disadvantaged. The Bible tells us that the blind and the lame came to him, and children acknowledged him and praised him with “Hosanna to the son of David” (Matthew 21:14, ESV). It may be that when we take a courageous stand for the right that someone will recognize and appreciate us for doing that. The world is full of downtrodden people who are looking for someone to stand up for them. Get your proverbial whip and make a difference.
- Church is for worship, not merchandising.
Jesus clearly stated the purpose for coming to his house – prayer. Wherever God manifests His presence, the place is holy as when God descended upon Mt. Sinai and consecrated it by his presence. When we enter his house, God expects us to commune with him in prayer and to not let our actions prevent others from doing the same. There must be no merchandising – buying and selling – of stuff, including religious stuff because it defiles his house.
The Apostle Paul also reminds us that our body is the temple for the indwelling Christ, and a witness to the world. We must, therefore ensure that we put nothing in it that defiles. “If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy which temple you are” (1 Corinthians 3:17, NKJV).
Jesus’ cleansing of the temple is emblematic of the cleansing work he wants to do in our hearts. However, this work is not done with a whip. Christ stands at the door of our hearts and knocks, and if we choose to open the door, he will come in and dine with us. I did, and I encourage you to open your heart to him today. Will you?
I am sure you have heard the term” have a cutting edge” or “be at the cutting edge”. It refers to the “most modern stage of development in a particular type of work or activity” or “the most recent stage in the development of something” that usually gives an advantage.[1] So, you often hear of companies at the cutting edge of communication technology or scientific evidence; or organizations wanting employees with skills that put the company at the cutting edge of product design or innovation.
Yesterday, as I was chatting with a friend who I admire in many ways, I was reminded of this term when she shared that she feared she has lost her spiritual cutting edge. She used to care about ministry and being involved in ministry but feels as if she has lost her effectiveness and enthusiasm for doing the Lord’s work. As this can happen to any one of us, I want to share some of my thoughts on recovering your spiritual cutting edge from 2 Kings 6:1-7.
The “sons of the prophets” (today, we might refer to them as a class of theology students) were studying under the Prophet Elisha. Many young men had joined the seminary but soon they ran out of space to accommodate everyone. So, they came up with an idea to build a new dormitory. With Elisha, the trainer’s permission, and his encouraging and inspiring presence, they went down to the Jordan river to start cutting down trees, to build their new accommodations.
Like many students, the one in this passage, did not have all the resources he needed and resorted to borrowing to fulfil his lack. He borrowed an axe so he could do his part and help with the building project. Pretty soon a problem arose. One day, while cutting down a tree, his axe head flew off the handle, landed in the Jordan river and sank to the bottom. In one mighty swing, he lost his cutting edge, and the power tool that made him effective.
Ever felt like this, spiritually? I have, at least a few times, but the question is, “What should you do when you think you’ve lost your spiritual cutting edge?”
Here are a few suggestions for recovering your spiritual cutting edge:
- Accept responsibility for losing your spiritual edge. This young man lost his cutting edge and his effectiveness in doing the work he set out to do. He suffered the loss while he was cutting trees. He didn’t blame anyone else for what had happened! No, He took full responsibility for what had happened. Maybe, he had neglected to maintain his power tool and to ensure it was in good working order. Such neglect may also be true of your spiritual life. When you lose your “spiritual edge”, you must accept personal responsibility for it. You can point a finger at the Pastor or Elder and say “I lost my spiritual edge” because the sermons you guys preach are boring and I don’t feel engaged; or you can say “I lost my spiritual edge because the church’s programs do not meet my needs” or “I am working too hard doing church assignments and I lost my spiritual edge”. The truth is the blame lies with you and you must take responsibility for the loss. To prevent this from happening, you must constantly ensure that your spiritual connection with God is tight and firm to prevent slippage and loss.
- Stop chopping as soon as you recognize you’ve lost your edge. When the young prophet lost his cutting edge, he stopped swinging as soon as he realized it was missing. He took a break. Think about it. If he continued trying to cut down trees, he would only be swinging at the tree bark, making noise, wasting time, and losing energy without making any real progress. He stopped chopping and so should you. If you sense that you have lost your spiritual edge, stop. Take a break. Rest. Pray. Study. Reconnect with God and meditate on His greatness. Reflect on who you are, what you do, and why you do it to better understand your divine purpose.
- Consider your accountability to the resource owner. Having lost his cutting edge, the young prophet cried out for help. “Alas, my master! It was borrowed” (2 Kings 6:5). He lamented the loss of the borrowed axe head. It did not belong to him, and he would have to return it to the rightful owner who lent it to him. Likewise, your gifts, talents, and any ministries or opportunities you have, are not yours. They belong to God, the owner of everything in heaven and earth. 1 Corinthians 6: 19, 20 says “You are not your own and what you have does not belong to you. You are a manager, a steward, a trustee of what belongs to the Lord, and you will have to answer to Him for all that he has entrusted to you to manage. Always consider that.
- Seek help. The cry of the young student was also an immediate call for help. “Alas, my master!” he said to Elisha because there was nothing he could do about the situation on his own. He needed help. I do not think he expected Elisha, the man of God, to perform a miracle, but he recognized he needed his help. You too need help. You cannot recover your spiritual cutting edge on your own. Call on the Lord, and ask Him to do for you that which you cannot do for yourself. Seek help from spiritual leaders the Lord has placed in your life for fellowship, encouragement, and support. Once you have done this, God will act to help you restore your spiritual edge.
- Examine the problem closely. Elisha responded to the young man’s cry for help with a question, “Where did it fall?” This question required the young man to reflect on what happened, to retrace his steps, to examine his situation. So should you. Take the time and trouble to examine the problem. Where and when did you lose your spiritual edge? Was it through neglect of Bible study and prayer? When you fell back into some old sinful habit? When you stopped regular church attendance, or after some controversy with a fellow believer? Our tendency is to sink into despair, or to keep trying to work through the problem on our own without identifying where the missing ‘axe head’ is located so you could retrieve it.
- Expect God to provide help, then retrieve your cutting edge. The story about the sunken axe head ends with a miracle. Elisha, the man of God, threw a stick into the water, and the axe head floated to surface of the water. Yes, the iron axe head floated. Then the young student retrieved it himself. God miraculously intervened to restore what the young prophet lost. Similarly, when you lose your spiritual edge, it is important to wait for God’s response, and to and to make every effort personally to retrieve your spiritual edge. Notice, although God performs the miracle of restoration, you have to retrieve your cutting edge yourself. So, if you have neglected Bible study, prayer, and regular church attendance you must recommit yourself to doing these things again to restore what was lost. Remember, only with God’s help, can you recover your spiritual edge. He assures you that when you seek him, you will find him, when you search for him with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).
Have you lost your spiritual edge? Take action today, and experience the miracle God as for you.
[1] https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/cutting-edge
Life can be difficult at times. This is especially true now with public health restrictions in place, young children at home, unprotected from infections, and new remote work arrangements associated with a seemingly never-ending COVID-19 pandemic.
At other times, you work hard, try your best but things still do not work out as planned. You plan, prepare, think ahead — and yet, something unforeseen comes out of nowhere creating other obstacles you need to overcome. You keep your end of a business arrangement, work or church assignment but the other party/parties intentionally do not, causing you great loss and pain.
Maybe, you are trying for a job you really want, you have gone to interview after interview, and you cannot land it; or you are dating and after multiple relationships, you just cannot find lasting love. You have lost three pounds but that is far from the 25 you are hoping to lose. You have a book you want to write, a song you want to produce, a change to make – but no deal. You feel burdened, lose heart, and hit the giant wall known as discouragement.
Discouragement literally means “without courage.” It denotes a sense of failure; an inability to make something happen. You feel nothing good will ever happen to and for you. You feel sad, heavy, stuck – even hopeless at times. I am certain that this type of discouragement burdens all of us, and is one of the greatest killers of the human spirit. However, through whatever doubt and misery you are facing, you must remain open to new possibilities and quit projecting further failures. If you do not, your live could easily become joyless, directionless.
So, how do we regain courage and heart in the face of discouragement? How do we regain a sense of hopefulness? Here are a few useful tips:
- ACKNOWLEDGE IT: When you sense yourself feeling discouraged, acknowledge it. Though it can be difficult to name a negative emotion, and to say, “I feel discouraged”, you must. Otherwise, you cannot take control of it, and shake it off.
- ACCEPT IT: Acceptance means you see the discouragement for what it is and you do not resist or judge yourself for experiencing it. Discouragement happens to many people and right now I am one of those people.
- SHARE YOUR FEELINGS HONESTLY WITH SOMEONE YOU TRUST. It is important to find a person that you trust, who knows you well and understands you and come clean about your feelings of discouragement. This way, you can talk it out and start to let go of that “stuck” or trapped feeling that accompanies discouragement. Of course, God is always there and you can “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken (Psalm 55:22).
- DIRECT YOUR ENERGY TO HELPING SOMEONE IN NEED. The fastest way (some say the best way) to regain hope and a sense or purpose is to extend yourself and to help someone in need. “Carry each other’s burdens and so you will fulfil the law of Christ.” … (Galatians 6:2, NKJV).
- CHANGE YOUR FOCUS. Usually, when you have helped someone else, you get a sense that you can get out of your own situation and come up with workable solutions. As such, you must let go of the feeling of discouragement, unbound your heart, and move on with a heart of gratitude to a brighter day.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6,7, NKJV).
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).
This Monday, June 21, 2021 is the Summer Solstice. The event, which ushers in the longest day and shortest night of the summer season for those in the northern hemisphere, happens when the sun is directly over the Tropic of Cancer. At this time, the Earth is at a point where its tilt is at the greatest angle to the plane of orbit, resulting in one hemisphere receiving more sunlight and longer day than the other.
I love the Summer Solstice though I grew up in the Tropics and it is not possible to experience it there. I like that I can do more with the extra hours of daylight, and the hours of darkness are shortened.
The Bible has a wonderful story about extended daylight. In the Book of Joshua, God performed a stupendous miracle that allowed the Israelites to defeat their enemies.
“At that time Joshua spoke to the Lord in the day when the Lord gave the Amorites over to the sons of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, “Sun, stand still at Gibeon, and moon, in the Valley of Aijalon. And the sun stood still, and the moon stopped, until the nation took vengeance on their enemies. Is this not written in the Book of Jashar? The sun stopped in the midst of heaven and did not hurry to set for about a whole day. There has been no day like it before or since, when the Lord heeded the voice of a man, for the Lord fought for Israel” (Joshua 10: 12-14, New International Version).
It’s interesting that the English word “solstice” comes from the Latin “solstitium” which means “sun standing still”. Joshua prayed, and God performed a miracle. He supernaturally caused the sun to stand still so r Joshua’s army could win its battle. While the lengthened day was indeed unlike anything ever seen, perhaps the greater miracle may have been that God listened to Joshua and answered his amazing prayer.
Very soon, something even more amazing will happen to those who become victors over the enemy of this world. Describing the New Jerusalem, the City of God, John writes:
“And the city has no need of the sun or of the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God has illumined it, and its lamp is the Lamb. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it. In the daytime (for there will be no night there) its gates will never be closed; and they will bring the glory and the honour of the nations into it; and nothing unclean, and no one who practices abomination and lying, shall ever come into it, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life. – Revelation 21:23-27.
In heaven, there will be nothing but unending day, uninterrupted light, the purest, cleanest, most radiant light in the universe – the light that dispelled the darkness when God started His creative works in Genesis 1.I can’t wait to experience those never-ending days with lots of time to so much and more.
Until then, I am content to enjoy this longest day of the year. Perhaps, you too can take a walk after dinner, sit in the shade, or reflect on God’s kindness in designing the earth and the seasons the way they are. Happy Summer Solstice.
Maggie
According to Eric Roth, “Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.”[1] However, like many products in the supermarket, every opportunity has an expiry date. This means they are temporary or short-lived.
Like most of us, I know the pain of missed opportunities – the ones we will not get a chance at again. In 2003 when I settled permanently in Canada with my family, simultaneously I secured a placement at Dalhousie University to complete some research as part of my Sabbatical leave from the University of Guyana.
Upon completion of my Sabbatical, I had an opportunity to do a PhD in economics but could not take it up because of family circumstances. I completed the first year but my husband, a new immigrant, was having difficulty finding sustainable employment. Our ‘savings burn-rate’ was high and getting higher every day.
Wanting to stop the bleeding, I decided to find employment to help support our family. Though I was comfortable with my decision, I was overwhelmed with sadness and grief at the lost opportunity. My ‘PhD’ ship had sailed leaving waves of regret for many years.
Going to my Bible, I found a story that is relatable which helped me cope somewhat. God had given the children of Israel the opportunity to go into the land of Canaan but they had to trust Him. They chose not to do this and trusted instead ten men, ten spies who told them it was impossible to possess the land. As a result, they lost the opportunity to march right into the Promised Land, and wandered in the desert for 40 years before they received another opportunity from God.
What can we learn from these types of experiences? From the shame and embarrassment? From the damage to our self-image and self-respect that makes it harder to find the courage to seize the next opportunity? From a lack of trust and dependence on God? Looking back, I have discovered three lessons that I know for sure help ease the pain of disappointment surrounding missed opportunities. If you learn them, you too can let go of ships that have sailed.
- Acceptance
The first step is acceptance. You need to accept that you missed your chance to do something that you may have loved; or to deepen a relationship with a special someone, and now the person has either moved or passed away. Let me be clear: This is not about blaming and dragging yourself down but about taking responsibility for the choices you have made, even if that choice results in sadness or regret.
I hasten to add that this is not as easy as it sounds and may take some time, even years to get to the place of acceptance. This was true for me but be brutally honest with yourself and do not make excuses or pretend you are better off without the opportunity or relationship. Honesty is the best policy even under difficult circumstances.
- Own your experience and learn from it
I learned that there is nothing wrong with being upset over a missed opportunity. Each experience holds valuable insights and lessons. When you experience stress associated with a regret, or feel anxious over a missed opportunity, you do not always think clearly or at times, rationally. You feel as if your whole world has come crashing down and all is lost.
It is important for you to get out of that headspace. Ask yourself, ‘What else could this mean?’ or ‘What’s great about this?’ Chances are you will be in a better place to move forward. That said do not pass up the chance to better yourself in some other way. Take out your pen and paper, and pull out the lessons from the experience, then identify how you can use them in future situations to better yourself or your relationships.
While we often say, “Never say never”, I have settled in my mind that it is unlikely that I will ever pursue a PhD in economics in the future. Getting out of that headspace has helped me explore what else lies out there for me to do and what is great about looking at other chances that have come my way. This has put me in a better place to move forward and to focus my attention on spotting the next opportunity, and not letting that one pass me by. To date, I have become an author and I am working toward certification as an international facilitator.
I have also asked myself a series of questions: Was the ideal choice apparent at the time of the event or did it only become clear with the benefit of time? If the same situation occurs in the future, how would I do things differently? Say, I jumped on that opportunity, how might it have gone sideways? For instance, I often wonder whether my marriage and family would have survived such a rigorous course of study; whether I would have exceled as I wanted to at that time; or whether I would be in debt until now. These were distinct possibilities.
3. Focus on Renewal
Everyone makes mistakes, but learning how to discover lessons from these errors can be beneficial. You must be able to reassess or reframe the pain, and focus on what you learned and how you grew. Yes, you might have messed up, but it was a learning experience that can help you make better choices in the future.
Ask yourself ‘What steps can you take to prevent the same thing from happening again in the future? Self-forgiveness can be a good first step. It is as close as we come to a system reset button. Then quit the self-loathing and move forward. Do not your missed opportunity trouble you into the future. Twenty years have passed since my missed opportunity and the pain has dulled considerably. I refused to beat myself up continuously and looked for an opportunity to move forward with God’s help.
Time is a remarkable gift from God. In Ephesians 5:15-16, the Apostle Paul cautions us all: “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…” (NIV). As God loves you so much, He does not want you to look back on your life with feelings of guilt and painful regrets. He is willing to give you another chance. So, look for the opportunity God is giving you today, and make the most of it!
[1] Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screenplay
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